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Thursday, July 22, 2010

Just some things

Just lots of things on my mind....thought that if I blogged some it would help me sleep a little.
This past week has been full of stressers. Thing that happen everyday and things that just happen to certain people.
First, my husband has gone on his fifth tour overseas. He is gone until October. You would think that I am used to him going off to defend our country, but it gets harder everytime he leaves. Missing him. Thinking of all the things he does for his family, friends I hope that he stays safe. I tell him everytime that I just want him to come home. Even if he is injured. I can deal with broken, I wouldn't be able to deal with dead.
Second, the company that I work for has for the third time been sold. From what I can tell this is not going to be a good thing. Is there anything I can do about it? No. I finally find something that I love, the job that I thought I would be able to stay with for a long, long time. Looks like I may be looking for yet another job to love. What is next?
I have been talking about going back to school. That is kinda scary. I am 40 years old. Can I do that?
Third, my youngest daughter went to camp for a week! This is the longest she has been away from home. The first time she has gone to camp. I miss her soo much!! We did get a letter from her today. She is having a great time. Thank goodness. I was so afraid that she was not going to handle being away from home too well. Biking,hiking,camping, swimming tons of stuff. We told her she was going to have a great time. Greatful that she has just gone with the flow and is enjoying herself.
Four, a good friend of mine died. He was in a car crash. This guy was having a lot of hard times in his life. Life is so sudden and sometimes ends the same way. He veered over into the wrong lane and hit a semi head on. Both drivers were killed.
We go through life thinking that is full of suprises. It is. You know what else it is? It's scary. It's hopefully full of love. You hopefully take each day and learn something from it. It's okay to sometimes take things for granted, but always remember that it is a gift.
Thanks for reading today,
CJ

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Pounding,banging and barking!! Oh, my!

I seem to be having some sort of attention problem today. First, I am on Facebook for a while. Then I read my book for a while. Got back on Facebook then did a "fill in" puzzle and now I am on here.
I think this must have something to do with the fact that this whole week my house has been going through alot of things. New roof and getting some work done in the basement. Nothing but pounding and banging. Then of course the dog is freaking out and barking almost non stop.
I have been taking Excedrin Migraine like they are M & M's! Don't want to go get a shot of Demerohl because what if something happens to one of the guys on the roof? Or what if the ceiling falls down or the guy working on the basement get an electric shock and I can't call 911?
The first night I came home when they first started the roof, I went into the bathroom and the floor was all wet. "um, Husband? Why is the floor all wet"? When he came upstairs of course the first thing he does is blame the dog for licking out of the toilet.
"That's not it I say I had to put the seat up". Husband starts looking and finally finds where the water is coming from. The vent in ceiling. One of the roofing guys poked just a little to hard and put a whole in the roof. Of course it was down pouring for a good portion of the night. Kinda hard to sleep when you think the roof is going to cave in on you.
Don't get me wrong here I think the roof looks great and the basement too! I am trying to convince myself that it was best to get these things done at the same time. Just one week of headache instead of two......... right? Someone tell me that I am right. I need to hear that I am right on this one. PLEASE!
Thanks,
CJ

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

I m thinking, I m thinking

So, I have been thinking of going back to school. I have also been thinking am I too old to go back to school? I know that there are alot of people out there older than I am that have gone back to school and "started" over in a new career.
I was never a great student when I was in high school. I did go to college for while. I even almost finshed my degree in boardcasting! I want to go back and do something with Criminal Justice. I never relazied how many different things you can do with this field. It has always been something that has intested me.
I was going to seriously look into this, I even talked to my hubby about it. He is leaving for his fifth tour in about a week and a half. Now, is not the best time. If I don't act on it now will I change my mind? If I don't change my mind will I be able to finish and get a job?
There are so many questions. Does anyone have any ideas? Anyone out there that actually reads this blog and will take the time to give me some thoughts?
Perhaps, if I do go back and get this degree I can hunt ya down and ask a ton of questions after!!
Thanks for reading. That is all for today.
CJ

Monday, April 5, 2010

Fathers and Daughters

How does a wife/mother help their husband and thier daughter become as close as they once were. I know that as our daughters age they have things that they can talk about with just thier Mom's.
My husband and I have been blessed (yes, I said blessed) with three daughters. Our oldest is 18 and she has been one of the most challenging people I know. She has put our family through alot. I am not going to get in to too much detail. She is not what this is about.
Our middle daughter is 15. It's so hard to believe. I understand that with each child it's different. My husband and I have always thought that she knows way more then she should. Friends and family have said things like she has such an "old soul". She is so smart, such a wonderful girl, has such a great head on her shoulder. She has and is all these things. She still loves us and still likes to hang around our family. She tells me that I am her best friend and her favorite person. That she can talk to me about anything.
This is where my question comes in. This used to be the realationship that she had with her Dad. Please don't misunderstand. She still has a great relationship with him. For the past year, maybe a little longer. They have both come to me and said that they miss the way it used to be. That they both want back what they used to have.
I have told her that Daddy feels the same way. That he too wants that relationship back. She has expressed that she does try to talk to him and that things always turn to her school or to tennis. That she just wishes that he would talk to her about other things.
I have tried so hard to get them back on track. Telling them that they have both come to me and talked to me about these things. What the concerns the one and with the other. Trying to make sure that they get some alone time together. Or when we are together to try and get them to talk just about stuff.
Recently my husband asked my daughter to get up and go play tennis with him. Out came the big sigh from her. Dad, it's suppose to rain and be cold. I don't want to get up that early. I can hear this conversation. Hubby brings up the fact that she used to get up early and play tennis with him. I piped in and said "I remember that!" They are planning on doing a Tri-atalon together this summer. They did it last year. maybe training will spark something.
I talked with my daughter today about this. I didn't mean to make her cry,but she did. I told her I understood when she spoke once again about "all it seems like he wants to talk about is school and Tennis." I know Sweetie, and I know it get frustrating. Sometimes it seems like your dad and I cover the same ground on things too. I think it's because maybe neither one of them knows how to do this father/daughter thing any more. That they just don't know what the one wants to talk about or not talk about. Daughter wants to steer away from school and tennis, Dad is focused on her future and wants to make sure she succeeds in the things she is doing now to get her where she wants to be later in life.
My hubby is in the military and this summer will leave for his fifth tour over seas. Although to most people July sounds like a long ways off. To him it's really not. He feels like he has so much to do before that time. Things on the house. Money stuff. Car stuff. Making sure that he gets to visit all the people he wants to see before he leaves. Making sure he spends as much time as possible with us. Doing things for his parents. I have told him to slow down. I know it's hard for him to do that. I ask him what I can do to help.
The thing that is weighing on me the most right now is this whole realationship with our middle daughter. It's hard for me to see them both struggle for something they both want. They are two of the most amazing people I know. Relationships no matter who they are with are hard. They all take work. How do I make this easier for them?
Would it be fair to tell my daughther, "Look you know that Daddy wants to talk about school and tennis with you. How about you give him a time limit of talking about these things. 10 minutes and that is it. Then you have to talk to him about something you don't normally talk to him about for 10 minutes."
One thing I did tell her today was to sit down and ask Dad to make a list of all the things that he wants to get done before he leaves. Then pick out somethings that you can help him with. Then help him when the time comes. Try not to give that 15 year old "Oh,my gosh" sigh. Just go and help him. Make a list of things that you want to do with him.
She told me that she does ask him to do things and he says that he is busy. This is where the slow down part comes in. I gave her permission to take her Dad by the hand or take his face in her hands, look him right in those big brown eyes of his and say, "Dad, this is me asking you to do something with me. Can that thing wait?" And at the same time when he asks her to do something get off the couch and do . Go to the store with him. Go to Grandma and Grandpa's with him. Ask him to go to Gander Mountain! Her reply to me on that one was "we were just there"! I pointed out that one it doesn't matter. That is a place he likes to go. And two if you were just at Michale's with me one day and I wanted to go the next three days in a row you would go with me. " Not to mention that she would go to Borders or any bookstore.
She is out at my Mom's for a couple of days. She had said she needed to get off the phone and go finish dinner. She was making something out of this cookbook that she had gotten for Christmas. I told her there is another thing you could do! Daddy love to go grocery shopping and loves to cook. Make a date for both of those things. That would be awesome.
I just want everyone that I love to be happy. I want so badly for them to have that closeness they used to have back. Again, the big question is how do I do that?
Thanks for taking the time to read my thoughts today,
CJ

Sunday, March 14, 2010

60!!

It's a great day here in Minnesota! It's about 60. I have the blinds up and the windows open. I love this time of the year.
One of my favorite things to do is to sit in my big chair in my front room and look out the window watching the trees and the grass get a little greenier each day. But my most favorite thing is to listen to the kids playing outside. Their laughter and screaming of finally being free from the inside.
I love the looks on their faces as they re discover the outdoors. Playing games of tag or riding their bikes. Listening to them talk about their summer plans of sunning and going to the beach. To sit out on our deck and read, play cards and just chat.
Waiting for the nights where one of us starts a bon fire and we all end up staying up way too late with our neighbors. Again, listening to the kids playing their outdoor night games. Planning on sleep overs.
Life is great. I am lucky to be where I am today. I have an awesome Husband, kids who still love to hang out with me and neighbors who are just one more part of our family.
Thanks for reading,
CJ

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Am I the only one that thinks that the commercials for Valentines day are bull? Really, are most women so shallow that all they want is jewelry? I am one of the ones that really would rather not have jelwery. For that matter I don't even care if I get a card. Just having my Hubby love me and want me as much as he does after 17 years is awesome!!
This day has become more about stores making money and Hallmark stock going up for the next couple of days. I think that week is the "black friday" for Hallmark.
When and why did some holidays become so commercialized? They are no longer about the true meaning, but about simply making money. More importantly when did we as the consumer let this happen and why?
Don't get me wrong I enjoy the holidays, but I enjoy them for the simple fact that somehow my family has kept it about being together. About the time we have to gather and just be together. Are there gifts exchanged ? Yes, gifts that are thoughtful. Gifts that are from the heart and some homemade. Plans of taking trips together to spend more time together.
I know that I am lucky to have the family I have and that we actually like spending time together. I wish more families were like this or could simply have this.
I know that I am getting off course here. Really think about this. What is St. Valentines day about? Why do we need cards, candy or jewlery? Why can't the love you have from your partner just be enough?
Thanks ,
CJ

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

So, yesterday I had a 10 hour day. To some of you I know this isn't such a big deal, but in my line of work it seems way to long!
The bright spot to my day was a stop in Memphis. I ran to get a Sub from a place called Lenny's.
At 330 this morning I woke up and have been getting sick ever since. Safe to say I won't be eating there again. EVER!!!
Then chatting with a friend of mine on line and telling him what was going on. He informed me that while at the airport in Memphis he sees cockroaches there all the time!! EWWWW!! Now Iam convinced that not only did I get a bad sandwhich, but that I have eaten a cockroach!!!
Thank goodness that I don't have to get back on the plane until about 5 this eveing and that I only have one leg home.
Shot today,but at least I have put something.
CJ